Five Lies Parents Sometime Say

Myth 1: Parenting requires no skills! Everyone does parenting the right way all the time!

Reality: Parenting is a complex dynamic process requiring constant hard work, skills and improvisation in today’s challenging and advancing world. Parenting definitely is an anthropological evolutionary phenomena which has evolved around the ages! Of course, there is an instinctual biological phenomena in child rearing, yet social and individual factors play a holistic overlay. Every parent wants to be the best parent to his or her child and puts in his or her best shot . Yet, in the complex world we live in, struggling with jobs, finances, stress, etc parents can also make some mistakes in parenting unknowingly ! Parents may sometimes unknowingly displace their own stress on the child by getting angry, not being emotionally responsive, being hostile to the child, etc. Many parents struggle to strike the right balance in their personal and professional lives while parenting effectively. Everyone tries their best to do it right, however sometimes parenting can go wrong as well!

Sradhanjali Dasgupta

Myth 2: Parenting the child is a Mom’s job Always!

Reality: These are common expectations in a traditional society where the mother cares and rears the young ones and does the household chores and the expected role of the father is on earning money and providing basic necessities such as food, clothing, shelter, etc for the family. However, in today’s modern times when both the father and the mother may need to work and earn money, it is very vital that fathers take on an equally important role in parenting and child rearing.

Myth 3: I send my child to the best costliest school so I am the best parent! Do I need to do anything more?

Reality: A mentality which some parents have is to expect that sending a child to the costliest available school is equivalent to being the best parent! They do not want to do anything more than that and according to their mentality they feel that as they are paying huge fees hence its only the school’s job to cater for the development of the child. Some of these parents in this process may forget their own role of providing values, teaching concepts of good and bad, disciplining, etc unknowingly! Its certainly good that you are able to provide for good quality schooling for your child . However, kindly do not forget your own duties in terms of spending quality time with your child, enriching your emotional bond with your children, caring and loving them irrespective of whichever type of school you send your child to!

Myth 4: Good parenting means buying lots of costly gadgets, clothes, gifts, etc for your children!

Reality: A common mistake is to substitute the lack of time spent with the child with costly, expensive gadgets and gifts for the child to make up. Your child needs you and your love more than anything in the world! Not your money!

Myth 5: Parents are always right! Child is always wrong! I am the parent! I know whats best for my child always all the time!

Reality: Certain parents can have some rigid ideas such as that only they are right! Others are wrong when it comes in terms of their child! They also think that whatever decisions they make are the best decisions all the time across all stages of development for the child. There are different stages of physical, social, cognitive, emotional development in a child across different periods of infant, toddler, preschooler, school going, adolescent, etc. As the child start growing towards adolescent and then subsequently towards adulthood, parents need to introduce concepts of autonomy, collaborative decision, alternate thinking pathways, critical thinking, etc and show respect towards the child inputs, intelligence , emotions, etc and involve children and adolescents by seeking their thoughts and inputs. You might be in for a big surprise to know how much your teenager knows as well on these worldly matters! Certain matters like choice of higher education and career decision may need a collaborative decision making. A parent deciding a career for a child assuming the parent’s view is supreme may lead to problems in the child especially if the child felt that he or she was not willing for that career right from the beginning for that!